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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

chris christie

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BREAKING: Chris Christie sneezed; Update: The endless no

The heavy breathing over NJ Gov. Chris Christie over the past two weeks makes Justin Bieber fans look downright ascetic.
He sniffled. He burped. He cleared his throat.
What could it all mean?
Mother fudge biscuits, this is ridiculous.
Twitter lit up this morning with URGENT BREAKING NEWS of yet another Christie news conference scheduled today for 1pm Eastern.
“Sources” tell everyone and their mothers that Christie is/isn’t/may be/could be/might be running for president — and that no matter what he actually says later today, it is/isn’t/may be/could be/might be a sign of the opposite of whatever he says.
Wake me up when the panting ends.
Update 1:34pm Eastern: Christie is now 30 minutes into his “No, I’m not running, but I’ll bask in the national spotlight for just a wee bit longer” press conference.
Alas, there is no Gong Show gong to bring this thing to a merciful close.

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